You may find yourself caught between the desire to excel and the fear of falling short. If this sounds familiar, take heart—there are ways to set meaningful goals without letting perfectionism and anxiety hold you back.
Let’s explore how to embrace progress over perfection as we enter 2025.
What is the Root Cause of Perfectionism?
Perfectionism often stems from deep-seated beliefs and experiences. At its core, it’s the fear of failure or not being good enough.
This mindset may develop due to:
- Early Expectations: Growing up in environments where success was overly emphasized can create a link between self-worth and achievement.
- Critical Inner Voice: Negative self-talk, shaped by past experiences, can reinforce the need to prove oneself constantly.
- Societal Pressures: Social media and cultural standards often perpetuate unrealistic expectations, fueling perfectionism.
Understanding these roots is the first step toward breaking free.
As Zahayra Carino, LSW, LMSW, our incredible therapist who specializes in perfectionism and anxiety, explains:
“Perfectionism isn’t about striving for excellence—it’s about the fear of being unworthy if we fall short.”
Is Perfectionism Associated with Anxiety?
Yes, perfectionism and anxiety are closely intertwined. The constant pursuit of flawlessness can create overwhelming pressure, leading to:
- Chronic Worry: Overthinking every decision and outcome.
- Procrastination: Fear of failing can paralyze action altogether.
- Burnout: Exhaustion from trying to meet unattainable standards.
Zahayra emphasizes the importance of addressing both perfectionism and anxiety together:
“When we work on these challenges, it’s not just about managing symptoms but learning to live with greater self-compassion and flexibility.”
Her trauma-informed approach, which incorporates CBT and DBT, helps clients reduce anxiety and recover from people-pleasing tendencies.
What is the 70 Rule of Perfectionism?
The “70 Rule” is a liberating concept for those stuck in the perfectionism trap.
It suggests that aiming for 70% effort—rather than 100%—can yield incredible results without the crushing stress of perfectionism. Here’s why it works:
- Encourages Action: When you let go of the need to be perfect, you’re more likely to start and complete tasks.
- Reduces Anxiety: Accepting “good enough” can alleviate the constant pressure to perform.
- Fosters Growth: Embracing imperfection creates room for learning and innovation.
Zahayra often helps clients practice this mindset, reminding them that “progress, not perfection, is what creates meaningful change.”
What is the 333 Rule for Anxiety?
The 333 Rule is a grounding technique that can help manage anxiety in the moment. It involves focusing on:
- 3 Things You See: Look around and name three visible objects.
- 3 Things You Hear: Tune into your environment and identify three distinct sounds.
- 3 Movements: Move three parts of your body, such as your fingers, toes, or shoulders.
This simple exercise brings your attention to the present, interrupting anxious spirals. Zahayra often recommends mindfulness techniques like the 333 Rule to her clients as a way to build resilience against perfectionism and anxiety.
Overcoming Perfectionism and Anxiety: Practical Steps
Now that we’ve explored the roots and interplay of perfectionism and anxiety, let’s look at actionable strategies to set goals that empower rather than overwhelm:
- Set Realistic Goals: Break down big aspirations into smaller, achievable steps. Instead of “I’ll exercise every day,” try “I’ll move my body three times a week.”
- Embrace Flexibility: Life is unpredictable. Be willing to adjust your goals without seeing it as failure.
- Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge small wins along the way. Every step forward is a success.
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: When self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself, “Is this thought helping me?” Reframe it into something kinder and more constructive.
- Seek Support: Working with a therapist like Zahayra can provide invaluable tools and guidance. Whether you’re managing workplace stress, redefining your identity after a life transition, or healing from race-related trauma, therapy can help.
Zahayra Carino’s Approach to Healing
As an Asian-Latina therapist passionate about serving adults and couples, Zahayra specializes in working with:
- Anxious women, new parents, and those facing isolation
- Individuals navigating infertility or postpartum challenges
- Adults redefining their identity after major life changes
Her use of CBT, DBT, and the Gottman Method ensures personalized care that’s both effective and compassionate.
Zahayra’s trauma-informed lens helps clients heal while building practical skills, like setting boundaries and managing ADD/ADHD.
Moving Forward with Confidence
As you set your sights on the New Year, remember that perfectionism and anxiety don’t have to define your journey.
By setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support when needed, you can move forward with confidence and joy.
And as Zahayra often reminds her clients, “You’re worthy of care, growth, and happiness—just as you are.”
So, let’s leave behind the weight of unrealistic expectations and step into a new year filled with possibility. After all, the path to meaningful change isn’t perfect—it’s simply yours to create.
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