If you’ve spent any time on TikTok therapy or in mental health spaces online, you’ve probably heard about EMDR.

Maybe you’ve seen someone talk about how it helped them finally sleep again after years of nightmares.

Maybe a friend told you it helped them heal from trauma they thought they’d never get past.

Or maybe you’re just wondering… what is this eye movement therapy everyone keeps talking about?

Let’s get to the heart of it: how does EMDR work, why is it suddenly everywhere, and is it really as effective as people say?

If you’re feeling curious (or even skeptical), you’re not alone. 

Let’s break it down gently and clearly—because when it comes to your healing, you deserve both science and softness.

What Exactly Happens During EMDR?

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. It’s a therapy that helps people heal from distressing memories, trauma, or emotional blocks that traditional talk therapy doesn’t always reach.

But how does EMDR work in practice?

In a session, your therapist will guide you to recall a painful or unresolved memory—but instead of diving deep into every detail, you’ll simply hold it in your mind while engaging in something called bilateral stimulation.

That might look like:

  • Moving your eyes side to side as your therapist directs you
  • Tapping gently on your hands or knees
  • Listening to alternating sounds through headphones

This back-and-forth stimulation mimics what happens during REM sleep (when your brain naturally processes and files away emotional information). It’s as if the brain is finally able to “digest” what got stuck—without needing to re-live it all.

Clients often describe it like this:

“It was like the memory was still there, but it didn’t have the same emotional weight anymore.”

“I didn’t forget the trauma, but it stopped defining me.”

So if you’ve been wondering how does EMDR work, this is the heart of it: it helps your brain finish what it never got the chance to process properly.

What Is the Process of EMDR Step by Step?

Okay—so now you’re probably asking: what does this actually look like from beginning to end?

Here’s the step-by-step process of EMDR therapy:

1. History-Taking & Planning

Before any processing begins, your therapist will get to know you—your story, your symptoms, your goals. This phase includes building trust, identifying target memories, and ensuring EMDR is a safe fit for you.

2. Preparation

This step focuses on building emotional regulation skills. You’ll learn grounding techniques and coping tools so you feel safe and supported during sessions. Think of it as creating a secure emotional foundation.

3. Assessment

You’ll identify a specific memory to work on, along with the emotions, body sensations, beliefs, and images attached to it. For example: “I felt powerless when my boss yelled at me,” or “I believed I wasn’t good enough.”

4. Desensitization

Here’s where bilateral stimulation comes in. As you hold the memory in mind, your therapist guides you through eye movements or tapping. Your brain begins to reprocess the memory—kind of like clicking “refresh” on a stuck page.

5. Installation

You replace the old belief (“I’m not safe” or “I’m broken”) with a healthier one (“I’m strong now” or “It wasn’t my fault”). The new belief gets “installed” and strengthened with more bilateral stimulation.

6. Body Scan

Your therapist helps you scan your body for any leftover tension or distress. If something still feels off, you’ll continue processing until it clears.

7. Closure

Every session ends with grounding techniques to help you return to the present moment feeling calm and safe.

8. Re-evaluation

At the next session, your therapist will check in on how that memory feels now. If needed, you’ll continue or move on to another target.

If you’re still asking yourself how does EMDR work, think of it like a reset button for emotional memories. It doesn’t erase the past—but it helps the brain stop reacting to it like it’s still happening now.

What Does EMDR Do to the Brain?

Let’s get nerdy for a second (but we promise—this will make sense).

When we go through something traumatic, our brain’s normal memory processing system can shut down. Instead of storing the experience in a healthy, “this is over now” kind of way, the brain freezes it—stuck with all the original intensity.

That’s why a smell, a sound, or a random moment can trigger a wave of emotion years later.

So how does EMDR work on a neurological level?

  • It activates the brain’s information processing system, especially in areas related to memory and emotion (like the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex).
  • It reduces activation of the fight-or-flight response, helping the nervous system come out of chronic stress mode.
  • It helps shift memories from reactive to reflective, so you can think about them without being overwhelmed by them.

In other words, EMDR doesn’t just help you think differently—it helps your brain store those memories in a different, healthier way.

What Is the Controversy with EMDR?

If EMDR is so effective, why isn’t it universally accepted as the gold standard?

Here’s where the controversy comes in.

Some critics have questioned whether the eye movement part is really necessary—wondering if it’s just the exposure to the memory (similar to other trauma therapies) that’s doing the heavy lifting.

Others have raised eyebrows because EMDR doesn’t look like traditional talk therapy. It’s more experiential, less focused on insight and discussion—which some clinicians find unfamiliar or uncomfortable.

And like any therapy that gains popularity, some worry it’s being used too widely or too quickly, especially without enough client preparation or proper therapist training.

That said, there’s a growing body of research backing EMDR’s effectiveness—especially for PTSD. Organizations like the American Psychological Association, WHO, and VA all endorse it as an evidence-based treatment for trauma.

So if you’re asking how does EMDR work, you should also ask how is it being used. A good therapist will ensure that it’s used thoughtfully, ethically, and always with your safety in mind.

Final Thoughts: Why So Many People Are Turning to EMDR

We’re living in a time where emotional wounds feel deeper, faster, and more frequent than ever. And a lot of people are realizing that simply talking about their pain isn’t enough to heal it.

That’s why EMDR is gaining traction.

 

Because people are tired of feeling stuck.
Because people want relief that’s deeper than surface-level coping skills.
Because people are learning that healing doesn’t have to mean reliving everything.

So—how does EMDR work?

It helps your brain gently reprocess pain.
It makes space for new beliefs, calmer responses, and emotional freedom.
It reminds you that healing is possible—not just in theory, but in real, lived experience.

At Cultivate Therapy, our EMDR-trained clinicians offer more than just a protocol. We offer care. Compassion. 

A safe space to process your pain without pressure or performance.

You don’t have to carry your trauma forever.
You don’t have to be stuck in the same emotional loops.
You don’t have to do it alone.

If your heart is wondering if EMDR could help… maybe it’s time to find out.

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