Trauma is not only about what happened to you in the past. It is also about how your body continues to respond in the present. Even long after a painful experience has ended, small moments in daily life can activate the same feelings of fear, shame, or helplessness that were felt long ago. These experiences are called trauma triggers, and learning to identify and manage them is a powerful part of the healing process.
At Cultivate Therapy, trauma specialists Allison Gaydos, (LCSW, NBCCH) and Rebecca Walsman, (CSW, LMSW, CCTP) help clients move beyond traditional talk therapy by working directly with the brain and nervous system. Their integrative approaches include EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Clinical Hypnosis, trauma-informed care, which help clients release the emotional intensity connected to trauma and strengthen their capacity for emotional regulation.
What Is Emotional Regulation and Why It Matters
Emotional regulation is the ability to understand, express, and manage emotions in a healthy and balanced way. It is what allows you to pause before reacting, communicate effectively, and handle life’s stressors with more stability. When someone has experienced trauma, this ability can become disrupted. The nervous system may stay stuck in a state of high alert, interpreting ordinary stress as danger.
Without emotional regulation, you might find yourself reacting with anger, shutting down, or feeling overwhelmed without understanding why. Developing regulation skills helps calm the nervous system and creates space for more thoughtful, grounded responses. Over time, it can improve relationships, boost confidence, and support both mental and physical health.
How to Recognize Trauma Triggers in Daily Life
Trauma triggers can be subtle. They are not always connected to obvious reminders of a painful event. A tone of voice, a particular scent, or even a type of lighting can cause the body to feel unsafe. Internal cues, such as a racing heart, tightness in the chest, or sudden irritability, may also signal a trigger.
Here are a few common signs you may be experiencing one:
- Feeling tense, on edge, or hyper-aware of your surroundings
- Sudden mood changes or emotional outbursts
- A sense of numbness, disconnection, or confusion
- Physical sensations like shaking, sweating, or difficulty breathing
- Urges to avoid people, situations, or conversations
Recognizing triggers does not mean you are “going backward.” It means your body is communicating that something needs care and attention. Awareness is the first step toward change, and with practice, it becomes possible to respond to these moments with curiosity instead of fear.
How to Learn to Emotionally Regulate
Learning emotional regulation is a gradual process that strengthens over time. It begins with understanding how your body and emotions are connected. The goal is not to stop feeling but to experience emotions without being controlled by them.
Here are a few practical steps that can help:
- Pause and breathe. Deep, slow breaths signal the nervous system that you are safe. This can lower heart rate and help your body move out of a stress response.
- Ground yourself in the present moment. Notice your surroundings, identify textures, or name five things you can see. Grounding exercises anchor you in the here and now.
- Label your emotions. Naming what you feel reduces its intensity. Try phrases like “I feel anxious right now” or “I notice sadness coming up.”
- Use compassion instead of judgment. Emotional regulation grows when you can accept what you feel rather than shame yourself for it.
- Seek professional support. Therapies like EMDR, IFS, and Clinical Hypnosis, offered by Allison Gaydos, work directly with the emotional parts of the brain where trauma is stored. These methods help reprocess painful memories and restore the brain’s natural balance.
Through these approaches, clients often notice improvements within a few months because the therapy focuses on healing the root causes rather than just managing symptoms.
Emotional Regulation in Children
Children also experience emotional dysregulation, especially when they are faced with overwhelming experiences they cannot yet understand or verbalize. Emotional regulation in children develops through relationships with calm, responsive caregivers. When a parent stays emotionally steady and helps name and soothe feelings, a child’s brain learns how to do the same.
Signs that a child may struggle with regulation include frequent outbursts, difficulty calming down, or shutting down when upset. Parents can help by modeling emotional awareness, providing consistent routines, and validating their child’s emotions instead of dismissing them.
In some cases, trauma or ongoing stress can make regulation more difficult. At Cultivate Therapy, our clinicians help families strengthen these emotional skills together. Through therapy, children can learn that emotions are safe to feel and can be managed in healthy ways.
How to Address Emotional Dysregulation
Emotional dysregulation happens when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed and the brain’s “alarm” system stays activated. This can lead to mood swings, impulsive behaviors, or emotional shutdowns. Healing requires retraining the body’s stress response and integrating unprocessed memories.
According to Allison Gaydos, this process often works best when the therapy targets the deeper neural pathways involved in trauma. Through methods like EMDR and trauma-informed hypnosis, the brain can safely revisit and reorganize distressing memories so they lose their emotional intensity. This helps reduce triggers and allows clients to respond to stress with more calm and clarity.
Healing emotional dysregulation is not about suppressing feelings but about restoring balance between emotional sensitivity and emotional control. When that balance returns, you can experience emotions more fully without being consumed by them.
Healing Is Possible
Living with trauma triggers can feel exhausting, but with the right support, your brain and body can learn new ways to feel safe again. Healing through emotional regulation means developing a steady internal foundation that helps you handle life’s challenges with strength and confidence.
If you are ready to move beyond coping and start healing at the root, Cultivate Therapy can help.Work with Allison Gaydos and Rebecca Walsman who help clients process painful memories, calm their nervous systems, and create lasting emotional change.
Your past does not have to define your present. Begin your journey toward emotional regulation and healing today – Get Started – Cultivate Therapy