Co-Parenting Goals: Realistic Edition

Let’s be real—co-parenting isn’t always smooth sailing so let’s dive in to co-parenting goals and how to navigate this transition! 

It can be messy, frustrating, and sometimes downright exhausting. But at the heart of it all? Your child. And making sure they have a stable, loving, and conflict-free environment is the ultimate goal.

Setting realistic co-parenting goals can make all the difference. 

The key? 

Focus on what’s best for your child while maintaining a working (not perfect!) relationship with your co-parent. Whether you and your ex are besties, barely civil, or somewhere in between, these goals can help set the stage for successful co-parenting.

What is the big picture?

The main goal of co-parenting is simple: Raise a happy, healthy child in a way that minimizes conflict and promotes stability.

Sounds easy enough, right? But throw in different parenting styles, unresolved emotions, and logistical challenges, and things can get complicated fast.

To keep things on track, here are some realistic co-parenting goals to aim for:

1. Prioritize Your Child’s Needs Above Everything Else
• Your child comes first—always. This means making decisions based on what benefits them, not what feels best for you.
2. Communicate Clearly and Respectfully
• Even if you and your ex don’t get along, your child needs to see a united front. Keep conversations focused on parenting and avoid bringing up past conflicts.
3. Be Flexible and Willing to Compromise
• Life happens. Kids get sick, schedules shift, and unexpected events pop up. Being adaptable makes co-parenting much smoother.
4. Create Consistency Between Households
• While no two homes will be identical, keeping similar routines, rules, and expectations helps kids feel secure.
5. Keep Your Child Out of Adult Conflicts
• Venting about your ex? Keep it for your friends, therapist, or journal—not your child. They should never feel like they have to pick sides.

These co-parenting goals create a foundation that puts your child’s well-being front and center while reducing unnecessary drama.

What are your parenting goals?

Beyond co-parenting, it’s helpful to establish personal parenting goals that align with your values and priorities.

Some questions to consider:

• What kind of relationship do I want to have with my child?
• What values do I want to instill in them?
• How do I want to handle discipline?
• What parenting challenges do I need to work on?

Here are some common parenting goals that work well alongside co-parenting:

• Encouraging open communication – Make sure your child feels safe talking to you about anything.
• Modeling healthy relationships – Whether it’s with your co-parent, friends, or family, show them what respect and kindness look like.
• Supporting their emotional growth – Validate their feelings, teach them coping skills, and help them navigate tough moments.
• Maintaining a strong parent-child bond – Just because you’re sharing custody doesn’t mean your relationship should weaken. Prioritize quality time.

Co-parenting and parenting go hand in hand. When both parents work toward the same ultimate goal—raising a happy and well-adjusted child—it creates a stronger, more supportive environment.

What is the healthiest co-parenting schedule?

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to a co-parenting schedule, but the best one is the one that works for your child’s needs and both parents’ realities.

Here are some common co-parenting schedules and their benefits:

1. 50/50 Schedule (Equal Time with Both Parents)

Great for: Parents who live close to each other and can share responsibilities evenly.

• Examples: Alternating weeks, 2-2-3 schedule (2 days with Parent A, 2 days with Parent B, 3 days with Parent A, then switch the next week).
• Pros: Equal involvement from both parents.
• Cons: Requires high communication and flexibility.

2. 60/40 or 70/30 Schedule (One Parent Has More Time)

Great for: Parents with different work schedules or if one parent lives farther away.

• Examples: The child spends weekdays with one parent and weekends with the other.
• Pros: More consistency during school weeks.
• Cons: The non-primary parent might feel less involved.

3. Every Other Weekend Schedule

Great for: Parents who struggle with scheduling or live far apart.

• Example: One parent has the child during the week, and the other gets every other weekend.
• Pros: Predictable and simple.
• Cons: The weekend parent might feel disconnected from daily life.

The key to healthy co-parenting schedules is stability and predictability—kids thrive when they know what to expect.

What are the golden rules of co-parenting?

Every successful co-parenting dynamic follows a set of unspoken (but crucial!) golden rules. Here are a few to live by:

• Golden Rule #1: Never use your child as a messenger. “Tell your dad to send the child support.” No. Just no. Communicate directly with your co-parent.
• Golden Rule #2: Respect each other’s parenting styles. Unless there’s harm involved, it’s okay if your ex does things differently.
• Golden Rule #3: Keep your child out of adult drama. No bad-mouthing, no guilt-tripping, no making them feel like they have to choose sides.
• Golden Rule #4: Put agreements in writing. Schedules, expenses, school decisions—having things in writing prevents unnecessary confusion.
• Golden Rule #5: Work toward forgiveness. You don’t have to be friends, but holding onto anger makes co-parenting harder. Let go where you can.

Following these co-parenting goals can make a huge difference in the overall experience for you, your ex, and—most importantly—your child.

Audrey: The Co-Parenting Expert

Navigating co-parenting isn’t easy, which is why professionals like Audrey are so invaluable. Specializing in co-parenting therapy, high-conflict relationships, and life transitions, she helps parents create a more peaceful, cooperative dynamic—even in tough situations.

Audrey works with couples and co-parents to reignite mutual respect, heal resentments, and develop communication strategies that put the child first. 

Whether you’re dealing with power struggles, emotional estrangement, or blended family challenges, Audrey holds space for parents to move from conflict to compromise.

For those who seek a faith-based approach, Audrey also supports Christian clients who want to process their co-parenting concerns through a lens of faith, understanding, and healing.

If you need guidance on setting co-parenting goals, working through post-separation challenges, or just figuring out how to not lose your mind while co-parenting, Audrey is the expert to turn to.

Co-Parenting Goals: The Final Takeaway

Co-parenting isn’t about winning or losing—it’s about raising happy, well-adjusted kids. 

By setting realistic co-parenting goals, establishing a schedule that works, and following the golden rules, you can create a positive and stable environment for your child.

It won’t always be perfect, but with patience, respect, and the right support (shoutout to experts like Audrey), you can build a co-parenting relationship that truly works—for everyone involved.